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It is with a great sense of pride that I come to tell you of a book we founders are writing about The Phantom Manufacturing Company. Since re-establishing ourselves, and particularly since launching this auto-incandescent kiosk thingy, we have recieved numerous requests to explain ourselves. One could take such requests in a variety of way but we see the positive in this. So we have set about writing the first ever Phantom Story. And, it being about us, it is a grand story in the time-honoured tradition of the printed book.
You will be happy to know that portions of this book will become available first here on this site in a serialised format and then later as an ebook and a print-on-demand book so as to spare our lovely trees due to possible unforeseen wastage.
Since completing our first draft, we have been advised by various and sundry writing professionals we have come to know over the years, that we ought to seek out an agent with whom we might treat so that an appropriate publishing agreement might be struck and the thing made available to the public. Sadly, all of my letters were either ignored or returned with rather derogatory responses. It seems that these agents, who profess to specialise in history, fantasy, and supernatural authors, refused to believe in the existence of myself or any of the other founders and rejected us sight unseen!
To be honest, I felt miffed and flumoxed. How can one say they are a specialist in supernatural stolry publishing and representation and yet categorically not believe in spirits? I am at a loss to understand. Fortunately, we have Mrs. Ramsbottom here. She, as usual, is the voice of reason in such matters. just before titus was about to project some beastliness upon several of these offensive agent creatures in an effort to prove our existence, Mabel managed to talk him down. though I do believe that he did manage to get off one small curse at particularly nasty agent in New York named Karen. Karen, if you are reading this titus apologises for making the inside of your Toyota Prius smell like the southern region of a north-bound donkey. Sadly, he ha sno idea how to undo the hex. Our suggestion is to return the offending vehicle -- we understand the manufacvturer is accepting such vaehicles for unrelated problems already. Perhaps they will swap yours for a new one? I digress.
Mabel was able to soothe our jangled nerves by telling us about a different way of publishing this epic tale. To begin, we will be serialising a portion of the story soon on this site, and possibly others later. the entire story will then be available as both an ebook (I have no ideas what this is but I am assured by Mabel that all living people will know what this is), and a 'print-on-deman' book. this latter format is a paperback book much like any other. But it is different in that each copy is printed at the time you order it. In this way wastage is eliminated. the cost of the book in this format is very competitive and will only take a few days to produce and deliver from the moment you order one.
Though we have no specific arrangements in place yet, Mabel has assured us that she will make it her mission to ensure both the ebook and 'print-on-demand' book are available at all the major retailers of such things on the internet. As I have said already, our first draft of the tome is now complete. the detailed editing process is just beginning. As we have never undertaken such a project we cannot say how long it will take. But, rest assured, we will do our best to keep you informed as to the progress of this important work.
As we are not professionals in terms of writing and publishing books, we comfortably cast ourselves before you and seek any advice you may have regarding this as we know that man y members of this august community here are much better qualified than we in this type of endeavour. So, let us know if you have advice for us. Well, that's all for now.
Thump
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